Recent Twitter Updates

follow me on Twitter

Friday, September 19, 2003

Your Honor

This morning I begrudgingly put on a sweater.

I was going to stay in my courtroom attire, maybe impressing unas de las chicas en mi clase de espanol with my stylish sense of fashion. But no, I didn't think it worked on the Judge ("Your Honor") and so it probably wasn't going to on them and besides I didn't want to incite questions from my classmates as to why I suddenly decided to take time to cultivate my appearance.

My court date was scheduled for 9am this morning. I woke up 9:02 and ferverishly convinced my roommate to drive me asap to the courthouse. I made it just in time to watch the prisoners in there black and white and black and white horizonatally striped uniforms file one by one out of the courtroom, back to their carcel, presumably. Usually you only see one white guy surrounded by five black guys on the basketball court, but this case was different. There was a white man en queue along with the black men. Their hand AND foot cuffs clanged and clattered while continuing their solemn dirge and reminding me what I DON'T want to be when I grow up. I anxiously awaited my turn in a front row seat.

"Mr. Cortez do you understand the charges put against you." and now i'm standing next to my lawyer, Susan Hessee of the Student Legal Services, before the judge, and politely yet monotonously repeating "Yes your honor" in response to his bevy of questions. "How do you plead, Mr. Cortez?" "Guilty, your honor."

That same guilt now somehow brews somewhere in my intestinal tract here in the basement of the Foreign Language Building, an upside-down pyramid. Brown Bottle Blues, i.e. hangover:

Last night there were no foreigners at the International Illini barcrawl. But that's ok because last night I drank and drank and drank until I became a well-versed conversationalist capable of parlaying whimsicalities about faraway lands. Most of them lasted more than five minutes and girls smiled at me and I smiled back.

Too bad the Judge didn't.

No comments:

Post a Comment