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Thursday, November 6, 2003

the inclination to breathe

Dave says it's all about the inclination to breathe.

Like, when you're trying to swim the length of the pool at IMPE without breathing, the hardest thing about doing it is staving off the inclination to breathe. Of course there's always the physical effort involved, the kicking, the pulling, the reaching- all of which gradually require more and more effort as you get farther and farther along the pool. All of which seem to become all the much more dramatic as your lungs start flipping out and your heart starts pounding.

But they're just panicking, you tell yourself. They're just pussies who need air. If you can fight off the inclination to breathe the first thing you'll notice after the little bitch-fit your respiratory system throws is this numb tingling feeling in your fingers. Then the feeling oozes up your hands and arms and you have to really begin to become mindful and deliberate about your movements if you want to make it to the other end.

Maybe the feeling creeps up again in your toes, then your feet. But by that time usually, it's only two or three more half-assed strokes and there you are at the other end of the pool. And there you can show your heart and lungs and nervous and respiratory system that they really had nothing worry about.

Fucking pussies.

So all it boils down to fighting off the INCLINATION to breathe. The DESIRE to breathe- not breath itself, but the yearning, wanting, empty grasping of it.

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