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Tuesday, January 6, 2004

this is a dream, this is only a dream

Mario and I were babysitting baby twins for a middle aged, upper-middle class couple. We swang them back and forth on swings, near and far, occasionally each of the twins colliding with each other in their seats due to uneven lines of projection, "Aww how cute."

We carried the babies back to their tiny rocking chairs. I felt a little awkward at first holding the baby, focusing more on fastening them securely in my arms than in loving, gentle cradling. By the time we got to the chairs I looked down to see that the body of my baby had mysteriously slid out from underneath my arms and all I was left with was a brain. The brain was the size of a marble.

I tried to stay calm and bend over and place the brain in the chair and hoped nobody would notice. And if somebody did notice then it wasn't all hopeless they could reconstruct the rest of the baby from the brain. Science these days boy gotta love it. Couldn't they? The slimy brain stubbornly clung to the end of my right hand sleeve and in an attempt to unfasten it, it unrolled out into the shape of a noodle of Pad Se Eu from a Thai food restaurant.

Unstuck, I gently placed the brain in the crevice of the tiny seat. Horrified I realized the brain was missing a few pieces. Looking around and beneath the chair I found a piece. I heard the parents slowly approaching behind me and prepared to explain the situation to them.

"Oh it's alright, here," they said, as they grabbed what looked like a handheld Dirt Devil and began to suck up all the bits and chunks of the incomplete brain, including the sizable portion in the crevice of the seat. I was horrified, "Now watch," they said, and after ten seconds of a whirring noise within the vacuum, out plopped from one of its compartments a fully formed, marble sized cerebrum.

They lived in the mountains, these parents. The father said that he would soon need me for a brave expedition out to the remotest reaches of the planet. Relieved from the brain incident and now excited with adventure, I looked out to the snowy mountains covered with virgin white snow and said to the mother, "I hope he sends me to Antartica."

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