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Monday, February 23, 2004

loneliness as really buying into the illusion of separation.

but how do you dissolve the "illusion" of separation that is at the root of all suffering.

how to acknowledge that you are still connected to that thing that seems far away, even though it may be a challenge to really feel it.

like sitting up with your legs straight in front of you, reaching over and down to touch your toes. it's tough, but you can really feel it.

thus applying the same technique in the cognitive/emotional realm. sort of realizing that the object/person you yearn for, though it seems very far away, is still connected to you, even if you can't really feel it.


the big easy

reggae man. teeth and booty. the waffle nazi. ron's vietnamese love. falling asleep in a cab that's falling asleep. micheal and the wodka. the "shi"-star. turkeys, a pleasant shade of blue.

we get there by feet. strip, suck, and fuck. the dead brown fox.

she makes a list. +,-. sobbing through a sunday morning sunrise.

desire: to possess, control.

Sunday, February 15, 2004

what to do what to do

Desire-release according to Geri Larken:

1. Realize that for every breath out, the body breathes back in.
2. Notice all the different colors in your teacup.
3. Hear the sound of chickens outside.
4. Call a friend.
4. Pull out an old journal to remember a former boyfriend.
5. Try a lovingkindness meditation.
6. Chant for everyone else caught in the bittersweet cycles of desire.

Saturday, February 14, 2004


emotions as art; arising as a complex entity rooted in the psychological panorama of human experience.  the intricate and formative combination of reactions selected from the universal pool of human experience is that which lends an authentic sense of individuality, uniqueness, to the expression of emotion. each person expressing their appropriate complex pattern individually.

expression of emotion as art; perplexing, seemingly formless at times, affective. as art; dissectable, discernible, structured. the revelatory aspect, not creationism of emotion: the complex architecture behind emotion draws from the pre-existing substrates of the human psyche. retracing the footprints of the expression of emotion, as art, as revealing the unknown.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

the word "facetious" not only has all five vowels in it, but has them all in order!!

Monday, February 9, 2004

the transformation of anger

anger arising from disappointment that arises from failed expectation, an expectation that arises from the creations of desire, a desire that arises from a longing. longing arising from a yearning, a reaching and grasping that arises from the idea that that which I long for is somehow apart from who I am.

so say that i'm not separate from anything.

now what.

discipline as insanity

discipline as requiring something more than an explanantion that lies within the bounds of reasoning. constant probing, asking why, failing to reveal satisfactory answers (reasons) explaining why things are done consistently, accurately.

the process of being disciplined seems methodical and altruistic- might a greater prerequisite instead be the selfless abandonment of reason. (blindly fumbling forward, anarchy of thought)

is discipline the bashful yet sincere acknowledgement that really there is no answer for why things done are did, things done with regularlity and great precision but ultimately with no purpose.

Sunday, February 8, 2004

Staying strong.

Realizing that feeling like a pussy is sometimes at first a prerequisite for staying strong. Could it always be?

Fearlessly tackling scary obligations and responsibilities. Blindly moving forward, without any attempts to attribute causality. No Woe is me.

"Will not become mired in a slough of existential despond."

"Once you have crossed the river, leave the canoe behind and continue on the way."

"The way that can be named is not the eternal way."