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Thursday, April 29, 2004

ever wonder where to go to get the news?

adbusters has the "real guide to the media landscape."

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

on meditation

from an articleon yoga journal about meditation:

"The analogy of baking is sometimes used to describe this process. First you combine the dry ingredients—flour, sugar, salt, baking soda, etc.—then you stir in the water or milk. The addition of the liquid binds the dry ingredients together. Once they are mixed, the dry and wet ingredients form a dough. Then it is just a matter of baking with the proper amount of heat before you have a loaf of bread.

In meditation the silence slowly mixes your various feelings, moods, and contradictory beliefs into a soft, pliable sense of presence, and the hours on the cushion produce the heat which generates insight. From this combination of conditions, there slowly emerges a person grounded in wholeness and understanding. It takes time for this heating process to work, but it doesn't matter if your mind is restless and constantly wandering, or your body is in pain, or you are filled with doubt; all these reactions are just fuel for your work on the cushion."

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

today in group dialogue class we were instructed to write controversial topics on small index cards. they were to be collected and randomly re-distributed throughout the class of nine students. thus they were to be read out individually in the hopes of spawning discussion, or even better, a dialogue within the class.

there were index cards on affirmative action, abortion and catholicism, and the political and linguistic global hegemony of the united states, among others.after about an hour and twenty minutes we seemed to have discussed most of the topics listed on the cards and the facilitator of the dialogue even asked if anybody holding a card didn't get to read it.

silent acquiescence followed within the chairs arranged in a circular fashion, and we moved on to another activity, assuming that all the cards had been read- except for mine, which read "male insecurity."

Sunday, April 25, 2004

lpa cookout

a placid lake reflected the newly leaved trees on the opposite bank. i passed the dutchie to the right-hand side, to ryan. we burned trees while hey-zeus the grill-master flamed hot dogs, hamburgers, and chicken. 


Races in Lake of the Woods, IL:

  • White Non-Hispanic (96.9%)
  • Black (0.8%)

  • Hispanic (0.8%)

the latino psychology association had a cook-out at lake in the woods in rantoul. we ate and drank and puffed and volleyballed. we made a 4-3-2 person pyramid. we had piggy-back races and four person high piggy-back statues. somehow the football landed in the water.

with a population of 3,026 in lake in the woods, il, the 12 of us latinos helped to increase our representative percentage to 1.1% of the total population there, if only for 4 hours.

across the bank, only seventy yards away were families and more green grass on downward sloping banks. they sat on lawn chairs, they fished in the water.

polite conversations around the bench of food. ricky's spinach salad with mardarin orange and strawberries. very sweet, very california. great, breezy weather. to me the sunset-bathed clouds looked like a giant upside-down pink muffiin, ivette said it was more like a mushroom from super mario bros.



hip hop or rap, drum and bass, house- these sites all provide a steady, free high-quality feed and are ad, spyware, trojan horse, virus, spam-mail, pop-up, and bullshit-free. b-sides, live cuts of new, old hip-hop and rap artists. lots of old school hits. smooth, urban earfare. solid-core dnb good for head-throbbing. many bpms. stimulating, straight-ahead grooves splashed with dashes of euro. mechanical. "smooth and downstylish house and tempo." also includes an urban jazzy feed. live djs continuously provide a steady, well-mixed stream of deep, soulful, and fresh crispy house.

put these on and practice those new dance moves in the privacy of your own bedroom before going out and embarrassing yourself on the floor.

Thursday, April 22, 2004

at the gym, fleshing out an acronym


 plugging into my emotional outlet

even men with erectile dysfunction are subject to cultural stereotypes

thinking about viagra?


"Some men feel embarrassed about calling to make an appointment to talk about ED. This is because they don’t want to have to share their condition with the staff of their doctor’s office. But here’s a tip: Just call your doctor’s office and ask for a routine physical checkup. Then, when you’re there, you can bring up ED with your doctor."

 Here are a few more things you can do to help start the conversation with your doctor:

"Have you heard about the VIAGRA sports sponsorships, such as Major League Baseball, or Mark Martin’s Racing Team?"

"Have you seen the VIAGRA commercial with Major League Baseball Star Rafael Palmeiro?"

"Have you seen the VIAGRA commercial with Winston Cup Driver Mark Martin?"


Wednesday, April 21, 2004

the job outlook brightens for the class of '04, says an article on CNN Money:

ninja gaiden

ninja gaiden originally debuted as a two-player beat-'em-up in the arcades in 1988, then a year later on the nintendo entertainment system.

watching my roommate play it last night after he brought it home reminded me of being seven years old- playing ninja gaiden (or ikari warriors or excitebike or contra) being a ninja turtle and eating pizza.

remember atari lynx?

gamespot gave this remake a stellar review, at a time when the xbox can use as many stellar games as it can get. part of an underwhelming minority, i still believe that the xbox, and microsoft, has strong potential in an arena that generates enough cash to rival the movie industry.  




Ninja Gaidenscreenshot


blender magazine came up with a list of the fiftiest worst songs ever.  


"we built this city" by jefferson starship ranks in at number 1.


Tuesday, April 20, 2004

the draftsman, painter, etcher ... hustla

last weekend visited the art institute of chicago (and rembrandt) with two austrians, a swede, and a slovakian. the international illini led and organized the trip, geared towards any interested foreign students.  

it is rumoured that the artist bought his paintings at auctions in order to keep them at market value. he came from a wealthy family and was alive the same time shakespeare was. he's also good at maintaining eye-contact:

the 3-feet of Personal Space Theory is shrunk during exhibitions of world-renown Dutch painters, and sometimes more time is spent staring at napes and backs of heads than at the various paintings and etchings. maybe they saw something magical in some of the over 200 large collection of paintings, drawings, and etches. i tried to put on my best artsy-fartsy face, but might just have to wait until next time to really appreciate the work of this XVII century hustla.

chicago residents pay $12 and the exhibition runs through May 9.


This guy tries to make money by blogging:



Jeff Jarvis, mentioned in a New York Times article on blogging to make money, has a list of ways on how to make money blogging. I would like him more if he stopped poo-pooing TV Turn-Off Week.

I dare you.

Sunday, April 18, 2004

there were three large wind chimes that rung low, giant notes from the house next door. she was waving us. "for a relaxing time, make it santorri time," and with a whiskey on the rocks, i joined alois and filip and bernhardt in the hot tub, unwinding underneath in the midnight darkness of a western chicago suburb. in the hot tub "it's about half of one hectare," her dad said the next morning.

from the pepcid ac infomational sheet - tips for managing heartburn:

* Eat slowly and do not eat big meals
* If you are overweight, lose weight.
* If you smoke, quit smoking.
* Raise the head of your bed.
* Wear loose fitting clothing around your stomach.

"Arbeit mach frei"

-german for work sets you free

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

walked into the red herring this afternoon wearing a leather jacket made out of a dead lamb.

Saturday, April 10, 2004


a dream where i was surprised to walk into her apt and find her and her bf dancing and twirling, dancing, side-stepping, looking like a cute couple out on the dark balcony. she seemed happy, at place, at home.

earlier on the night, in real life, she was puking in the toilet at steak and shake. her and tanya were in there for a while, long enough for jeff and carl and i to order our meals, eat them, and pay for them.

carrying her up to her apt, laying her on the couch, grabbing a pillow for her and then tanya, "you know you have to leave right." kinda thought i should, but was really sure then. funny feelings walking down the stairs back to the car with jeff, especially after i heard her mention her ex-bfs name in the bathroom at S & S and how she was going to "beat his ass."

told jeff the story of random boob-flashing right outside the apt on the way home from studying with ricky on monday night. it was a consolation for my bruised ego, a misogynist crutch to prop up an increasinly burdening sense of self-importance.

"being compassionate without being attached or feeling hatred."
-dalai lama

Friday, April 9, 2004

choose your own savior

from a jesus article on

"The most popular Jesus of the moment may be the Manly Messiah, a macho savior unbowed by pain or torment. The logo of the Lord's Gym franchises may be the best example: A ripped, muscular Jesus does push-ups while carrying a cross emblazoned with the phrase 'the sins of the world' across his back. You get the feeling that bearing the cross is akin to a soldier dropping and giving 20—it's unpleasant but not all that burdensome. This Jesus wouldn't fall three times on the road to Golgotha, and he certainly wouldn't need Simon of Cyrene to help carry the cross."


thursday night - nargile - usual suspects. had heart to heart with ricky in the men's room. puffed on a hookah, drank mexican beer, hard liquor. ivette and ricky and jackie and her friend justin and ariceli and carla, then monica joining us at the table. also carla's boobs were there.

closing time and outside to a brawl. started first just girls swinging away, then seconds later contellations of mini-skirmishes arose surrounding them throughout the parking lot. sometimes the fights would merge, then they'd die down, then others would arise, involving participants from previous tiny-battles joining forces versus the new enemy squad. royal rumble, tag team, battle royal- it all seemed very WWF.

don't know why, didn't really care, mostly entertaining. swift kicks to the abdomen, punches, slaps to the face, faces rubbed in the ground like cigarettes in an ashtray and i swear someone gave someone else a noogie.

ricky got away with a relic of the war, an awful baseball cap and tried it on later on the way back to good ole 206. he said to ivette, "go ahead and pee right there."

back at 206 pretty bad episode of the simpsons where krusty finds his jew dad. i covertly dropped almonds down from the balcony on the heads' of the people at the party downstairs and thought about going to bed.

disturbing the peace

so i'm sitting here writing a paper in spanish but my thought process is being interrupted by two overwhelmingly loud and repetitive pair of bass notes. it's as if the frequency of the notes invades my entire cerebrum and flushes out any other possible potential neurotransmission.

so i have to finish this paper and i'm like wtf where is this coming from, it's not here in our apt. bass notes tend to travel lowly so i stand on my chair and touch the ceiling of my room. yeah. both hearing and feeling the music, i paused to try to figure out what song it was before leaping for the broomstick and pounding up above.

it was tonite, tonite by the smashing pumpkins, and the guy upstairs was singing along. i couldn't do it, i couldn't pound, so i sat it out back down on my chair and enjoying the rest of the song.

back to work.

Thursday, April 8, 2004

ryan and his gf diana were sitting in the dining room eating a meal with a smell that immediately made me hungry. they were talking about belated-lent, and what they would give up, "what should i give up?" he asked me as i scattered to and fro, gathering my belongings for work.

thought about it for a few minutes in between looking for my bookbag and checking my e-mail and writing a date down on my calendar. hope, i said, give up hope. and diana laughed and i smiled and left for work.

Tuesday, April 6, 2004

three cheers for the dish fairy

highlight of the day so far: someone did the dishes!

on blogging

from byron's blog in the congo:

"I am enamored with the whole phenomenon of people publishing their lives for all to read. It is very personal, but at the same time, distant. It is like sitting in a bar and seeing someone who just looks interesting and wanting to ask them a billion questions about their life, just because."

the stark calligraphy of the winter trees between the english building and lincoln hall is surrendering to a resurrection of the early spring flowers lining its branches. purplenesses upon whitenesses, and tiny green buds.

a japanese girl rolls by on a skateboard, flicking her hair back with a look that says, “I’m prettier,” and she passes by.

tying shoelaces on the edge of the bed looking over and east at the early afternoon, early spring sunshine pouring down her loose hair, her shoulders.

she saw my huge headphones (monitors, really) and said, "are you going to be flying a plane anytime soon?"

ad-aware found 60 different spyware programs on my computer

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.
-- Alexander Pope, "Eloisa to Abelard"

article from

Report: Caucasians Will Soon Be A Minority In Their Own Goddamn Country

PIKEVILLE, TN—According to Hormel-plant breakroom sources, if the Puerto Ricans and the Mexicans and the Orientals and the blacks don't stop having all those babies, whites will be a minority in their own goddamn country as early as 2010. "Someone looked at the census figures, and on account of how much faster they're multiplying, it's only a couple years before there's more of them than of us real Americans," foreman Ron Nelson announced Tuesday. "They're already making the kids learn Spanish at the high school." According to U.S. Census Bureau estimates, 80.7 percent of the current U.S. population is white.

what a long strange trip it's been

most of the cats that you meet on the streets think of true love
most of the time their sitting and crying at home
one of these days they know they gotta get going
out of the door and down on the street all alone

grateful dead - truckin

Friday, April 2, 2004

grateful living

on the quad, wright side, rolling down the street was a young man in a wheelchair. it was sunny out and he seemed to be having a hard time getting himself along. walking passed him i wondered if he needed a push, questioning whether or not he would feel offended by the offer.

as soon as the thought finished running through my mind the tall white person walking next to me asked the wheelchair dude "can i give you push? ... gotta give your arms a rest, you know."

he helped him along to the white bus that was waiting about a few dozen yards ahead, access ramp engaged and awaiting. i turned left and walked away to the foreign language building but not before lookking back one more time at the two of them getting by in the sunshine.