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Saturday, April 10, 2004

ivette

a dream where i was surprised to walk into her apt and find her and her bf dancing and twirling, dancing, side-stepping, looking like a cute couple out on the dark balcony. she seemed happy, at place, at home.
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earlier on the night, in real life, she was puking in the toilet at steak and shake. her and tanya were in there for a while, long enough for jeff and carl and i to order our meals, eat them, and pay for them.

carrying her up to her apt, laying her on the couch, grabbing a pillow for her and then tanya, "you know you have to leave right." kinda thought i should, but was really sure then. funny feelings walking down the stairs back to the car with jeff, especially after i heard her mention her ex-bfs name in the bathroom at S & S and how she was going to "beat his ass."

told jeff the story of random boob-flashing right outside the apt on the way home from studying with ricky on monday night. it was a consolation for my bruised ego, a misogynist crutch to prop up an increasinly burdening sense of self-importance.

"being compassionate without being attached or feeling hatred."
-dalai lama

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