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Monday, June 16, 2008

Celine Dion vs. Tim Russert vs. Bo Diddley

This weekend I had dinner with a group to celebrate a friend's birthday. Most of the people there were unfamiliar with each other save for the birthday girl. For some ungodly reason, the topic of Celine Dion came up in conversation. Not knowing everyone's particular taste, I bit my tongue. I wanted to say something like, "Celine Dion has bigger testicles than a silverback gorilla" but no, I held back ... because sure enough, there was a person at our table who admitted to paying $300 to see her live in Vegas.

Aside from this shameful confession, I was more shocked to learn that one of the people at our table had no clue who she was. He said he honestly had no idea. I quickly Googled her image and showed it to him on my blackberry - nothing. For fuck's sake, a farmboy somewhere in the mountainous island of Phuket, Thailand knows who Celine Dion is. He's wearing a t-shirt of her right now as he returns from the ten-mile hike to the watering hole.

As incredulous as I was that night, I must have seemed the same way when I heard about this Tim Russert guy passing away. While his image is recognizable, I was unaware of who he was and neither did I realize the importance of his passing. Didn't he have something to do with potatoes, I thought? "No, he was more than potatoes," all the major national media outlets scolded me, "so much more than potatoes..."

Whatevs. While i'll take Bo Diddley back over you Timmy Boy, there's still something I want you to know. If it ever comes between me saving either you or Celine Dion from falling off of a deadly cliff, you can count on me. While my weight-lifting abilities (ie squats and dead-lifts and such) are probably more suitable for saving Celine, I'll just have to work out that much harder. I'll do it for you, Tim Russert. You can count on me.

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